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Saturday Night Live
There are 20 sound clips.

Soundclip / File size

Life Guard: "Attention, swimmer!"
RealAudio: 21 KB; Wave: 42 KB
Jimmy Stewart: "That's a nice baseball bat. I wonder what it would look like, burried in your ass!"
RealAudio: 67 KB; Wave: 140 KB
Life Guard: "Slide back to the wall, you are blocking the bubble jet."
RealAudio: 59 KB; Wave: 123 KB
Jimmy Stewart: "Who is this clown?"
RealAudio: 30 KB; Wave: 44 KB
Life Guard: "Swimmer, do not panic. I'm a trained professional life saver."
RealAudio: 44 KB; Wave: 92 KB
Jimmy Stewart: "Smoke a lot of dope, do you son? That's a rhetorical question."
RealAudio: 60 KB; Wave: 125 KB
Roxbury Guy #1: "What's wrong with the CD?!?!"
Roxbury Guy #2: "What the hell is going on?!"
Roxbury Guy #1: "Dust!"
RealAudio: 135 KB; Wave: 285 KB
Jimmy Stewart: "Never underestimate the power of the elderly."
RealAudio: 42 KB; Wave: 86 KB
Spa client: "I'm just, I'm just splashing water on myself, on myself..."
Life Guard: "Of course you were Sir, then the other guys do it, then the other guy, next thing you know, a body goes under and there's a bloating carcass stuck in the filter."
RealAudio: 123 KB; Wave: 259 KB
Jimmy Stewart: "I have never agreed with gratuitous violence."
RealAudio: 42 KB; Wave: 87 KB
Jimmy Stewart: "This fellow mugs so much, he should put a handle on the side of his head."
RealAudio: 44 KB; Wave: 91 KB
Jimmy Stewart: "I'm Jim Carrey. I'll do anything for a laugh! I need attention 24 hours a day!"
RealAudio: 112 KB; Wave: 236 KB
Joe: "I'll see you in hell!" #1
RealAudio: 26 KB; Wave: 53 KB
Joe: "I think you will or else ... I'll see you in hell!"
RealAudio: 62 KB; Wave: 130 KB
Colleague: "I'm thinking maybe you should give the whole thing a rest."
Joe: "Yeah, maybe I should, maybe I should give it a rest or maybe I should see you, in hell!!"
RealAudio: 83 KB; Wave: 174 KB
Joe: "I'll see you in hell!" #2
RealAudio: 10 KB; Wave: 74 KB
Joe: "No... No... you must have the wrong number... that's ok, I'll see you in hell."
RealAudio: 71 KB; Wave: 150 KB
Joe: "Thanks a lot, Jill. See you in hell!"
RealAudio: 27 KB; Wave: 55 KB
Joe: "It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Henry. I'll see you in hell."
RealAudio: 37 KB; Wave: 77 KB
Jimmy Stewart: [The fishy poem]
RealAudio: 417 KB; Wave: 884 KB
Jimmy Stewart: "Nice to see you, Johnny."
RealAudio: 21 KB; Wave: 43 KB
Life Guard: "Life guard on duty, Sir!"
RealAudio: 18 KB; Wave: 37 KB
Johnny Tango: "Nice try novice, but don't mess with the maestro."
RealAudio: 32 KB; Wave: 67 KB
Life Guard: "Nooooo, it's not your time yet!"
RealAudio: 36 KB; Wave: 75 KB
Life Guard: "That's okay Sir, you don't have to thank me."
RealAudio: 22 KB; Wave: 44 KB
Life Guard: "Lifeguard on duty, Sir. If you don't mind I have to watch the water."
RealAudio: 52 KB; Wave: 108 KB
Life Guard: "No roughhousing in the Spa, settle down, please!"
RealAudio: 87 KB; Wave: 183 KB
Life Guard: "Thank you, so much!"
RealAudio: 22 KB; Wave: 44 KB
Life Guard: "Attention swimmer... attention swimmer. You are too far... return immediately."
RealAudio: 98 KB; Wave: 206 KB
Roxbury guys: "You, me, you, me?"
RealAudio: 37 KB; Wave: 77 KB